Resources

From Our Grief Support Library

General Grief Literature

Symptoms of Grief
Expressions of Grief
Experiences of Grief
What Grief Is and Isn't
Mourner's Bill of Rights
Coping with Depression
Helping Ourselves Through the Holidays

Children

Helping a Child to Grieve

Loss of Child

Losing an Adult Child
When a Baby Dies - Fetal and Infant Death

Loss of Spouse

On Dealing with Loneliness
Helping Yourself When Your Spouse or Partner Dies

Loss of Parent or Sibling

When a Parent Dies - An Adult's Perspective
When a Sibling Dies

Loss by Suicide

Helping You to Survive a Suicide Death

Anticipatory Grief

How to Comfort a Loved One When Death is Near

From Our Support and Share Night Speakers

R. Glenn Kelly Author and Speaker

R. Glenn Kelly is a writer, public speaker, Grief Support Advocate, and grieving father.

After the tragic loss of his teenage son, he left behind the corporate world to work exclusively with bereaved men, and the women who want to understand them. R. Glenn is the author of the self-help book, "Sometimes I Cry in the Shower: A Grieving Father's Journey to Wholeness and Healing," and has appeared on television, support workshops and even college universities to discuss moving forward towards the new normal in recovering from traumatic loss.

Look for Sometimes I Cry in the Shower in paperback and eBook on-line at R. Glenn's website, grievingmen.com, Amazon, Barnes and Noble and bookstores everywhere.




 

From BFO Ottawa Community

Always With Me: Parents Talk About the Death of a Child

Edited by Donna McCart Sharkey, BFO Ottawa loss of child group facilitator and participant.

Chapters written by many others from BFO Ottawa who have lost a child.

How does a parent cope after the death of a child? Each essay in Always With Me: Parents Talk about the Death of a Child reveals the experiences of parents who have lived through the devastation and upheaval of their child’s death. Parents describe the maelstrom they face in their inner landscapes, coping strategies, and realigned place in the world. The writers in this collection of stories take on such topics as shock and isolation, despair, guilt, and how they attempt to make sense of their shattered lives. They offer insights into how their grief and loss are worked through, and why certain personal connections are severed, others strengthened. Importantly, they describe how, with lives altered indelibly, they try to press forward to find a new place in the world.

To order: Contact Us

BFO Ottawa

Surviving My First Year of Child Loss

Essay written by Samantha Medaglia, BFO Ottawa perinatal loss group facilitator.

The death of a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss, or the death of an older child, is the worst experience a parent can endure.

This book by Nathalie Himmelrich includes 26 heart-wrenchingly honest essays by parents who convey their personal challenges and the ways they coped during the first twelve months after losing their children.

To order: visit Amazon.ca

BFO Ottawa

The Little Black Funeral Dress: Five Things I Wish I Had Known About Grief

Written by Jennifer Thiessen, BFO Ottawa 2021 guest speaker.

It's not if, but when. Those who love will also grieve. To our detriment, society would rather sanitize or skip over the topic of grief. Twelve days after her son's wedding, Shirley Thiessen was thrown into the unimaginable task of planning his funeral. Grief threatened to extinguish her purpose for living. Gradually, hope and resiliency emerged as Shirley learned to recycle the pain of loss for good purposes. While everyone's grief journey is unique, there are tips to be shared and missteps to avoid.

To order: visit Amazon.ca

BFO Ottawa

Falling Together: a Family’s Story of Mental Illness and Grief

Written by Donna McCart Sharkey, BFO Ottawa loss of child group participant and facilitator.

The author anticipated building an ordinary family. And that’s what happened. But mental illness and grief also happened, undermining the security of home and changing the familial experience from ordinary to extraordinary. A hard story to live, a hard story to read, this book describes the day-to-day life in a family navigating their increasingly fraught lives. A must-read for any family who has experienced this and a must-read for anyone wanting to know about this.

To order: visit Demeter Press

BFO Ottawa

A Culture of Caring: A Suicide Prevention Guide for Schools (K-12)

Written by Theodora Schiro, BFO Ottawa 2021 guest speaker.

As awareness grows about the alarming increase in youth suicide rates, school leaders need information on suicide prevention and postvention. Tragically, the search often begins only after the school community has suffered the loss of a student. Schools must start to be proactive and educate themselves about risk factors and prevention strategies.

This book includes information about prevention, intervention and postvention, along with commentary from experts in the field. School leaders, counselors, and teachers can use the information to create their own plans or just glance through it to get ideas. With this book, any school community that takes suicide prevention seriously will have access the knowledge, tools and resources to save lives.

To order: visit Amazon.ca

BFO Ottawa

Recommendations from the Support and Share Night Community (click image for more information)

Welcome to the club that no one ever wants to join but so many of us end up needing. We’re so sorry that you’re here. Based on her own experience with grief—the author’s partner died when both were in their late twenties—and those of other Grief Club members, Janine Kwoh uses brief writings, illustrations, and creative diagrams to explore the wide range of emotions and experiences that grief can encompass. For anyone who has lost a loved one or who is close to someone who is grieving, Welcome to the Grief Club is a book of solace, connection, hope, and reassurance. It addresses with empathy and honesty the aspects of grief that so many of us experience but that aren’t widely discussed: the variety and volatility of emotions—sadness, anger, guilt, joy; the physical symptoms of grief; and how grief isn’t linear, but it does change and soften over time. It affirms that there is truly no right or wrong way to grieve and assures us that the things we feel that surprise us or seem strange are often common and always valid. Humor helps us to survive, and the book uses a lighthearted approach to cover powerful topics, like supremely unhelpful things that people say to those who are grieving, grief trigger bingo, and everyday acts of resilience. This book is a companion that says, I see you and you are not alone, from one grieving person to another. It is a gentle reminder to give yourself permission to grieve for as long as—and in whichever ways—you need.
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When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.” So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible? In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn: • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world. It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better.
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